Imagine: You close a huge deal. Revenue is up. The room applauds! You feel six inches taller.

Three months later, a key strategy fails. Revenue drops. Now you feel small.

Here’s the uncomfortable question: Can you be the same person in both situations?

Ancient Wisdom That Matters Today

Three thousand years ago, the Bhagavad Gita offered a simple instruction to a warrior about to enter battle: be the same in victory and defeat. Act fully. Release attachment to results.

In modern English: Don’t let your ego run the company.

It’s neurologically smart, extremely practical – and easier said than done.

What Your Brain Is Doing On Its Own

Wins activate reward circuitry. Your confidence rises, and your perceptions of risk drop. While it feels fantastic, it can make you slightly delusional. As in: “Clearly, all future decisions will also be brilliant.”

Losses trigger threat circuitry. Cortisol rises. Cognitive flexibility narrows. You become less curious and more protective. Not ideal for thoughtful strategy.

The research is clear: rewards and threats measurably alter judgment and risk tolerance. Emotional spikes distort leadership perception and create unsteadiness.

LEARN TO LEAD FROM THE INSIDE OUT. The Amare Leadership Lab. Join a small, trusted circle of leaders who don’t pretend they have it all figured out. Five immersive, experimental lab sessions and a private breakthrough coaching session with Moshe. Show up fully, release what’s been holding you back, and create major shifts in you and your impact. Starts in early May, get more info now.

Experiential Amare Moment – Rate Yourself

Think of a big win and a big loss. On a scale of 1–10, how steady do you feel right now?

Close your eyes. Take three slow breaths. Say quietly: “I am not my latest result.”

Re-rate yourself. Any movement?

Window – Three Leaders Who Stayed the Same in Wins and Losses

Mary Barra at General Motors: When the ignition switch crisis erupted early in her tenure, Barra took responsibility publicly with calm accountability. Same tone in storms as in wins.

Howard Schultz at Starbucks: During rapid growth—and later decline—Schultz didn’t let expansion inflate him or downturn shrink him. He stayed steady and true to the mission throughout.

Paul Polman at Unilever: Polman resisted quarterly earnings pressure and stayed committed to long-term sustainable value through both ups and downs.

Different companies. Same leadership discipline: emotional consistency and predictable presence.

Mirror – 3 Questions to Reflect Upon

• When you win, do you elevate yourself or elevate the system?
• When you lose, do you tighten up or open up?
• How consistent does your emotional tone feel to others?

Door Into Action: 5 Amare Action Steps to Stay Steady

1. Strengthen self-awareness daily. Spend five minutes reviewing your reactions to both praise and pressure. Observe patterns without judgment.

2. Pause before public response. After major wins or setbacks, take a few deliberate breaths before speaking. Your team will feel the difference.

3. Share credit widely. Name specific contributors when celebrating success. Ego shrinks. Trust grows.

4. Normalize mistakes. Publicly thank those who surface problems early. Safety fuels performance.

5. Create a reset ritual. A short walk, a brief meditation, or three written gratitudes after big moments keeps your nervous system steady.

Amare Team Talk

In your next meeting, ask: “How consistent is my leadership when things go well versus when they don’t?” Let the room answer. No rebuttals. Just curiosity. That five-minute conversation may do more for culture than a two-day offsite.

Your Inspirational Challenge

Great leadership is not emotional flatlining. It is emotional maturity.

When you detach your identity from outcomes, you gain clarity. You make cleaner decisions. You become harder to rattle—and easier to trust.

In a world addicted to spikes of triumph and despair, calm conviction is rare. Rare leaders build enduring institutions.

Stay steady.

– Moshe

Today’s Amare Wave Wednesday Quote

“If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster / And treat those two impostors just the same…”

—Rudyard Kipling’s 1895 poem “If—”

   

Click here and read more Amare Wave Wednesday newsletters on related topics:

Be the Same in Success and Defeat: Timeless Advice for Great Leaders

The Cost of Winning at All Costs: Business as War vs. Business as Love

Making Trust and Accountability Your Leadership Superpowers

How Mistakes Make you a Better Leader: 6 Amare Ways to Master Imperfection

One Minute Meditation: A Quantum Practice That Can Revolutionize Your Leadership