Most leaders I coach don’t struggle because they lack courage or competence. They struggle because they believe the wrong stories.
That voice in your head—the one that says Careful, Don’t risk it, You should already have this figured out—sounds authoritative. Confident. Convincing.
But it isn’t truth. It’s a story. A familiar one. Often outdated. Sometimes useful. Almost always overprotective.And if you confuse that story with reality, you don’t just limit yourself. You quietly shape an organizational culture built on fear and caution, often without knowing it.
Know someone who could use some help in saying no? Setting limits? Holding healthy boundaries? SEND THEM THIS FREE “HOW TO SAY NO” LEADERSHIP GUIDE HERE. It’s an act of love.
Why the Brain Loves Stories (Even Bad Ones)
Neuroscience explains why this voice is so persuasive. The brain is a meaning-making machine. It strings experiences into narratives to predict danger and avoid pain.
Research from Stanford and UCLA shows that when pressure rises, the brain favors coherent stories over accurate ones. Certainty feels safer than ambiguity—even when the story is distorted. That’s why your inner critic sounds so sure of itself.
The breakthrough isn’t stopping the story. It’s realizing you’re the editor, not the headline. That’s where coaching can help.
Mirror – Reflection Questions
- What recurring story shows up when stakes are high for you?
- How does that story shape your decisions with people, money, or risk?
- What new story would create more clarity without denying reality?
It’s Not the Voice That Runs You. It’s the Story You Believe.
Every inner voice carries a storyline: Don’t fail. Don’t be exposed.
Don’t lose control.
The moment you see that this is a story, not your identity, something shifts. You gain choice. That choice is the foundation of love-powered leadership.
4 Amare Ways to Change Your Relationship With the Voice
1. Name the story you’re telling yourself. Instead of arguing with the voice, identify the plot. “This is the story that if I slow down, I’ll fall behind.” Naming it loosens its grip.
2. Separate the narrator from the observer. You are not the voice. You are the observer who hears it. That distinction restores agency and steadiness.
3. Check the expiration date. Ask: When did this story first form? Is it still accurate—or just familiar? Many inner narratives are running on outdated data.
4. Choose a truer story to lead from. Not a rosy one. A grounded one. One that aligns with your values, your experience, and who you are now—not who you had to be then.
Amare Team Talk
In a team meeting, invite this question: “What limiting story might we be telling ourselves about this challenge?” Keep it practical. Come up with new stories that create new options.
Your Inspirational Challenge
This week, listen closely to the voice in your head—not to obey it, but to understand the story it’s telling. Then decide, deliberately, whether that story deserves to lead. When you reclaim authorship of your stories, all kinds of new leadership opportunities will show up.
You got this.
–Moshe
Today’s Amare Wave Wednesday Quote
“What a liberation to realize that the ‘voice in my head’ is not who I am. ‘Who am I, then?’ The one who sees that.”
— Eckhart Tolle, author and spiritual teacher
Click here and read more Amare Wave Wednesday newsletters on related topics:
Intuition, Instinct, and Fear: A Leader’s Guide to Knowing the Difference and Choosing Wisely
4 Steps to Get Super Clear on Your World View about Business
Too Busy to Grow? 5 Amare Steps to Get Out of the Grind & Reclaim Your Leadership
