Most good leaders genuinely want to light the way so their people and organization thrive. They want to emphasize their strongest qualities, and not let weaknesses get in the way.
Those desires are real and healthy. And can miss a key point.
What if the thing holding your people back isn’t your weakness? What if it’s your strength?
Applied without awareness, your greatest leadership quality — the thing you’re most recognized for, most proud of, the one people have mentioned in your performance reviews for twenty years — can do the opposite of what you intend. The energy you pour into elevating others can, without meaning to, flatten them instead.
Your leadership ripples. Always. The question is: In which direction do your ripples flow?
Light or Shadow? Same Strength. Two Completely Different Ripples.
Your strength is what it is. What changes is whether you use it wisely and shape how it lands. Consider:
Decisive. You move teams forward with confidence, cutting through ambiguity when others freeze. Or — the other ripple — you close down conversation before it starts, and people stop bringing you the ideas that needed more than thirty seconds of consideration.
Energetic. The team draws energy from you; your charismatic presence raises the room’s pulse in exactly the right way. Or you dominate and no one else can get a word in. The most important input you could ever receive never makes it to your ears.
Loyal. People feel protected, trusted, seen — and they go to the wall for you because of it. Or the hard truths never reach you, because nobody wants to be the one who breaks it.
Same strength. Two completely different ripple effects. The difference is not your character. It is your awareness of your strengths and the impact your strengths create.
Not sure how your strengths play out? Schedule a complimentary, 15 minute Catalyst Call with me to identify what matters most in your leadership, work and life. Know you’re ready to take it the next level? A 90 minute Breakthrough Call is a concentrated, high-impact opportunity to help you see clearly, tell the truth and shift something real. To learn more email us at: connect@amareleadership.com.
Instant Thought Experiment
Think of the one leadership strength you’re most recognized for. The one that shows up in feedback, in introductions, in the way colleagues describe you to others.
Now sit with this: Is there anyone on your team who might experience that strength not as something that supports their growth, but as a wall that stops it?
Don’t answer out loud. Just notice whether the answer is something you already, quietly, know.
Mirror: Three Questions to Reflect On
༄ What “go-to” strengths do you rely on no matter what? Might any of them be overused?
༄ When’s the last time someone told you something that genuinely surprised you about how you come across? If you can’t remember, that’s good data too.
༄ If your team could change one thing about how you lead — and knew there would be no consequences for saying it — what do you think they’d say?
Window into a Leadership Ripple
Deborah had a genuine superpower: she spoke up bigtime. In rooms where others hesitated, Deborah said what needed saying. It was effortless for her, and her organization benefited enormously.
The problem was the assumption that came with it. Deborah assumed she built a culture where anyone could speak freely and therefore would (and no one said otherwise… hmm!).
What was actually happening was that her voice filled the room so completely, so confidently and fluently, that everyone else went quiet because there didn’t seem to be any space left.
The ripple Deborah intended — create open dialogue, build a team that tells the truth — wasn’t the ripple that she created. The real impact was: Deborah will handle it. It’s better to stay quiet.
When she finally asked — really asked, with real patience, and then actually listened — she heard things that changed how she led. She learned to hold space for others to do speak up too.
Bottom line is this: Your greatest strength has a shadow. It has to. Because every source of light casts a shadow. That’s physics—and an incredible growth opportunity for you.
What the Research Says
Most leaders would tell you they have a reasonably accurate picture of how they come across. The data suggests otherwise — and by a significant margin.
Research by organizational psychologist Tasha Eurich found that while 95% of people believe they are self-aware, only about 10–15% appear to be. The gap between perceived self-awareness and actual self-awareness is where blind spots often live.
A 2024 review published in Behavioral Sciences found that leadership blind spots are common, with prior studies estimating that roughly 30% to 67% of managers may have meaningful gaps between how they see themselves and how others experience them.
Be clear. These blind spots aren’t necessarily weaknesses. They may be the shadow side of strengths overused, the overdrive version of something that, calibrated well, makes for great leadership.
Door into Action: 5 Amare Leadership Steps to Let Your Light Lead
1. Name your top strength. Write down the one leadership quality you’re most recognized for. Not the modest answer you’d give in a job interview. The real one — the strength that shows up whether you’re trying or not.
2. Ask the shadow question. For that same strength: think through how it might land differently on people with less power, less confidence, or a significantly different style than yours.
3. Invite honest feedback. Ask your team if there is anything about how you lead that gets in their way — even unintentionally?” Then stop talking. Just listen and say thank you.
4. Watch the room. In your next three meetings, pay attention to who isn’t speaking. Try to discern if it’s they have nothing to say — or have stopped trying to say it.
5. Adjust your beam. Pick one specific situation where your strength has been casting more shadow than light. Change one small concrete behavior, consistently enough for people to notice.
Amare Team Talk
Bring this question to your next team meeting: “What do I do really well that sometimes gets in your way?”
What the answers tell you — about where your light lands and where your shadow falls — may be among the most useful data you’ll collect all year.
Be Inspired: Let Your Whole Light Shine
Leadership self-awareness is sometimes framed as a kind of humbling — a reminder that you’re not quite as brilliant as you thought. That framing misses the point entirely.
The leaders who change the world are not the ones who turn down their light. They’re the ones who know enough about it to aim it right.
Knowing that your beautiful light also casts a shadow doesn’t make you broken. It is, quite literally, how light works.
It does mean you’re a leader with a powerful light— which is no small thing. Maybe you just need more curiosity about your impact or more precision in your aim.
Get lit!
– Moshe
Today’s Amare Wave Wednesday Quote
“Light and shadow are opposite sides of the same coin. We can illuminate our paths or darken our way. It is a matter of choice.”
—Maya Angelou, American poet
Click here and read more Amare Wave Wednesday newsletters on related topics:
The Truth about Love-Powered Is there Kryptonite in Your Superpower? A Leader’s Guide to Recognizing and Resolving Blind Spots
Finding Your Courage: 5 Steps to Lead with Your Lion’s Roar
Do You Know You? 7 Amare Steps to Self-Aware Leadership
The Ripple Effect: How Shining Your Light Sparks Brighter Leadership in Others
You GET 7 Ways to Become a Better Leader by Listening Deeply
