In the middle of a leadership coaching session, Josh, CEO of a fast-growing tech company, had a huge breakthrough moment. He realized with profound clarity how strong he is in vision and strategy—and that he actually gets in the way when he dives into execution.
After a coaching session like that, I feel elated. Not because it was easy or glamorous, but because I got to support a leader who courageously recognized his strengths and shortcomings and chose to be a better leader. Gratitude totally fills me up, and I think: I get to do this work. I get to do this. Not have to. Get to.
The older I get, the more convinced I am that this feeling isn’t a luxury. It’s a signal. We all get to design our leadership and lives to offer us more moments like this. The truth is, this kind of quiet delight is available far more often when we stop treating meaningful work like a burden.
I GET TO: The Inner Shift That Transforms Your Leadership
In leadership coaching, I hear the phrase have to constantly. Have to deal with this tense situation. Have to make the hard call. Have to manage big egos.
Leadership does come with responsibility. But when “have to” becomes your leadership default, it’s easy to lose sight of the bigger picture. Something happens inside that makes you smaller.
Imagine shifting, broadening your vision. Know that you get to lead.
You get to decide how power is used. You get to build a culture worth inheriting.
What Changes: The ABCs in Action
The Amare Way ABCs is a useful leadership framework. This ‘Get To’ shift shows up first as Authenticity. You notice your own mindset. You catch when obligation has turned into resentment or control. You recalibrate. Teams experience that self-awareness as steadiness, honesty, and emotional consistency.
It shows up next as Belonging. When you operate from “Get To,” people don’t feel managed. They feel seen. Psychological safety increases. Speaking up becomes normal rather than risky.
And it shows up finally as Collaboration. Pressure doesn’t disappear, but it becomes more naturally shared. Information flows earlier. Problems get solved faster because no one is wasting energy protecting themselves.
What the “Get To” Shift Looks Like in Real Leaders
Indra Nooyi at PepsiCo recognized that leadership meant getting to shape human lives, not just quarterly results. That created purpose-led decisions and reinforced dignity, trust, and long-term thinking across the organization.
At University Hospitals Health System (and Johns Hopkins Medicine prior), Dr. Peter Pronovost helped healthcare leaders see that they get to steward safer systems. That shift — from personal burden to collective responsibility — moved teams from silence to speaking up and measurably improved patient outcomes.
And at Ford Motor Company, Alan Mulally reframed leadership as getting to do great work together. He replaced fear with love, enabling shared ownership, stronger collaboration, and faster problem-solving across teams.
GET YOUR FREE “HOW TO SAY NO” LEADERSHIP GUIDE HERE. Set healthy limits, let go of outdated beliefs, and watch your leadership power grow. SHARE IT TOO.
Mirror – Reflection Questions
- Where has “have to” quietly replaced “get to” in how you experience leadership?
- How does your internal perspective shape what your team feels safe enough to say or do?
- Which of the ABCs — Authenticity, Belonging, or Collaboration — most needs your attention right now?
Door into Action — 3 Amare “Get To” Steps
1. Shift your language in real time. When you catch yourself saying “I have to,” pause and restate it as “I get to,” then proceed from that frame.
2. Enter as a steward. Before meetings or decisions, remind yourself that you get to be responsible for the culture you create, not just the outcome you achieve.
3. Protect what sustains you. Schedule non-negotiable time that restores clarity and perspective so you can lead from choice, not depletion.
Amare Team Talk
In your next team meeting, ask: “Where does our work feel like a burden — and where does it feel like a privilege?” Let people speak honestly. The conversation alone models a ‘get to’ attitude.
Your Inspirational Challenge
You’re in the role you’re in because people trust you with responsibility. Not everyone gets that. Fewer earn it. Even fewer use it well.
Leadership has a way of slowly turning choice into obligation if you’re not paying attention. The meetings keep coming. The pressure is relentless. Somewhere along the way, “I chose this” turns into “I have to deal with this.”
That’s the moment worth noticing.
You weren’t drafted. You weren’t trapped. You’re here because you decided this work matters. And it still does.
You get to shape an organization that impacts the world. You get to determine what your people experience in their work. You get to decide what gets modeled, tolerated, and rewarded.
That may not make leadership easier for you. It will make it more meaningful. And having meaning steadies everything else for everyone.
Big Amare,
–Moshe
Today’s Amare Wave Wednesday Quote
“A leader is best when people barely know he exists… when his work is done, they will say: ‘We did it ourselves.”
— Laozi, Chinese philosopher, 6th century BCE, in the Tao Te Ching
Click here and read more Amare Wave Wednesday newsletters on related topics:
Gratitude and Resilience: The “Power Combo” Great Leaders Use in Tough Times
How to Lead Through Hard Times Without Adding Suffering to Your Load
The ABCs of Great Leadership: Unleash the Full Potential of Your Organization with a Simplified Approach to Transformation
Gratitude and Resilience: The “Power Combo” Great Leaders Use in Tough Times
Lead with Confidence: How to Stay Grounded in Times of Constant Change
